A Different Way To Think About Personal Relationships [Video]

Some add’l points I left out of the video…

Every piece that you can connect to a composer through is like a different subject you can connect to a person through. Very rarely do we master every piece by a particular composer just like it is unlikely we will engage with every possible subject within a particular relationship. Some relationships I talk to about sports, some relationships I talk to about politics, a rare friend I talk to about everything. Different pieces represent different ways to engage and each presents different challenges, but it is rare we take on the complete ouevre of a composer (that would be more like a marriage, or a best friendship). Just like life, we will have different relationships with a composer depending on which pieces (subjects) we choose to engage.

This means different musicians will have dramatically different relationships with the same composer, depending on which pieces they approached them through, and where they were in their own development as a performer. Similarly, different people can have totally different experiences of other individuals, depending on which topics they connect around and their interpersonal skill sets lineup.

We have a finite amount of time to invest in a finite number of pieces from a finite number of composers. And the more time we spend with each the more growth we receive, at least up until the point we’re a particular piece no longer challenges us, or even a particular composer, so we move on. And that’s OK.

Some musicians naturally align with certain composers better than others. This doesn’t mean a composer is “better” or “worse” than another (though in some cases it might mean that) but it definitely means they’re a better fit for a particular relationship. This is also like life, and that’s OK.

Sometimes we spend a lot of time working on a particular piece from a particular composer ultimately to realize we don’t really like it or want to pursue it further. And when we do so we take the risk of missing out on what that composer has to offer us if perhaps we tried other pieces to engage them with. It is unlikely in life we will capitalize on every great relationship opportunity we’re presented. It might be a bad time or we might have simply picked the wrong subject to engage them through. But that’s okay. There is always more great music to play.

Finally, and despite what I may have said, in the video, some relationships are just meant to be fun and light, and that’s okay (like when I play piano versions of 80s rock songs).

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the video! Like and subscribe for more like this. 🙏🏻

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